Have You Lost That Loving Feeling?

A timeless classic by the Righteous Brothers connects these two very important things, loving and feeling. In this case, I am not talking about the emotional response of feeling, I am talking about the physical connection of touch. For those whose love language is physical touch the two are forever joined together and cannot be separated. If touch is withdrawn, love is withdrawn. 

Several years ago I saw a sermon about the laying on of hands as a point of contact to transfer power. We as mere mortals have nothing more powerful to transfer than love. The sermon point holds true. Touching makes a connection for physical touch people to have love transferred to them. 

The more you ignore hugs, kisses, hand holds, and snuggles, the more hurt and alienated the hugger becomes. My daughter, when she was young, and even into her late teens, would get up in Melisa’s lap and cuddle a little bit. Sometimes she was having a bad day, other times she just needed to feel her mother’s touch. As an elementary schooler she was always pestering people to hug on her and play with her. What we didn’t know at the time was that she was just crying out for a real need to be met by those she loved. Don’t neglect a real need of someone you love. 

I may over use the examples of my kids in this blog, but why not, it’s my blog. My oldest says you don’t have to pray “all day” you just have to pray, “every day.” He is a pastor, so he should know. You don’t have to hug all day, you just have to hug every day. If you are doing the basics every day your spouse never worries about when or where the next kiss is coming from. Hold their hand, kiss them on the top of their head on your way to the kitchen. Stuff like this is the basics you need to do every day. It is a small investment in the person you love with a many fold return. Buy low and sell high, small investment with a big return. That is the premise for “love smarter, not hard.” Those of us who stake the claim to be a lover, not a fighter, need consistent physical contact. Do your best to love on them in a way that makes them feel special. Go as far as you feel comfortable and then take one more baby step. That will become your new normal. Then repeat that process as often as necessary until your loved one feels like the most important person in your world.