Happy Birthday to Me
Today is October 18, 2019. Today I turn 57 years old. It’s hard to believe that this day is here. Honestly, I don’t think we really spend a lot of time thinking about what it’s like to know that the first half of our lives are finished. I started my day as I do the vast majority of days with some time alone with the Lord. Side note, if you don’t do this, I will tell you it’s one of the best practices I have in my life. Spending time with my total focus on God helps set the tone for the rest of my day. This morning, I just wanted to thank the Lord for allowing me to be in the best time of my life. He spoke to me as He is always does. Yet in this moment He allowed me to see that He too was celebrating my birthday. I had a vision of the two of us dancing and His love for me was overwhelming. His word reminds me that every day of my life was written in the book of me before I ever came to the planet. (Psalm 139:16) God looked at the planet and knew the world would need me today. He knew that on this day I would celebrate and be celebrated and I sensed that He wanted to be the first to celebrate with me. At this moment, I realized I am completely living the dream. My life is not perfect by any stretch, I have a few minor issues with my body but nothing that keeps me from doing everything God has put in my heart. I live without health insurance and I am dependent on God every day to supply my needs. In all of this, I am happier than I have ever been, freer to be me than I have ever been, and want less than I have ever wanted. I feel like Paul when he said in Philippians 4:12-13 (AMPC)
I know how to be abased and live humbly in straitened circumstances, and I know also how to enjoy plenty and live in abundance. I have learned in any and all circumstances the secret of facing every situation, whether well-fed or going hungry, having a sufficiency and enough to spare or going without and being in want.I have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers me [I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into me; I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency].
For many years, I chased the American dream. I lived to make more money, acquire more stuff. I was actually pretty successful at that. I am a college graduate with a Bachelor’s Degree in Nursing, I am a pastor, an author, a life-coach, and a conference speaker. Many people would look at that and say, “Yep, she is successful.” I was also super intense and driven by the desire to prove I had worth and value. I was determined to hear the accolades of people who would be forced to acknowledge that I was someone who mattered. The flaw in this approach is that you cannot make people say the things you need to hear. Even if they say them, they will never be enough. Trust me this is a life lesson I learned over the span of many years.
Today, however, I sit in reflection of my life. The most important things in my life are my relationship with God and the relationship with people. Today, I will be celebrated by many people on social media. I will receive countless text messages from people wishing me a happy birthday I will take none of them for granted. I realize that for some this will be the last time they wish me happy birthday as some of them will no longer be here next year. I realize that even I am not guaranteed tomorrow so I will treasure today. The saying, “youth is wasted on the young.” Is all too true. While I don’t really want a do over in my life, I wish I would have listened to the people in my life who told me to enjoy today without spending all my time dreaming about tomorrow. God shares the same thought in His word. Matthew 6:34
“So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.”
Today I choose to celebrate the great things in my life. I will cherish every moment. I will love the people God has brought into my life and I will choose to celebrate the 57-year-old woman I have become. I have value! I have worth! I know this because God designed me that way. It is not dependent on anyone’s opinion but it is truth because God told me so.